10 – Beluga Whale
This cac whale is literally always happy [insert kuch blunts.jpg]. Imagine its Christmas of ‘96 and you just got 10 shit presents in a row..socks..tamagotchi..fking jenga..shit like that. Uncle Benny slides a box across the floor to you..caught you a bit off guard. Open it up..no one else is really paying attention. Then you see it…the capital N. You got a N64…and goldeneye. Thats how the beluga whale feels all the time. The mother-beeping Michelin Man of the sea.
9 – Anteater
Imagine a world where you could eat all you could possibly want all day every day for free. Well that dream can become a reality. Just transform into an anteater! They eat fucking ants. There are 10 billion billion (that’s not a typo) ants on the planet. Even a fat-ass anteater can’t eat that many. And it’s not like you’ll get bored of them either, because that’s your shit! You’re named “Anteater” for fuck’s sake. Ladies also love your super long tongue. ;) ;)
8 – Rhino
Rhinos get a bad rep..so I posted a pic of one in a field of flowers. They have feelings too. Ok Rhinos looks like fking ROCKS first off..like some geodude shit..they have like fking armor on…they are like tanks..and they gallup and shit and will absolutely destroy your life. Rhinos dgaf like forreal.
7 – Eagle
What an amazing animal. What else screams America like the bald eagle? This animal could eat a baby if it wanted to..a human baby. There are words that that picture describes that I can’t even think of right now. The bald eagle is truly an animal of great respect and will be remembered for a long time.
6 – Eel
Ah, nature’s underwater penises! They are cool by me because all day they just flop around underwater being flaccid and shit. And some of them are electric?!? Like can you imagine that first eel that was electric. He was certainly abandoned at birth by his normal eel parents because he was such a freak. He was made fun of at school because he was different. Little did they know that he would grow up to be able to fucking electrocute shit. Now who’s the freak? IT’S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE NOW. YOU ARE ALL MY BITCHES NOW!
5 – Seahorse